The Nigerian Woman and the Cross of a Cheating Spouse

Post by Dinah Ekundayo


Holy Matrimony
Let's talk about cheating and the Nigerian woman.

Dear Nigerian woman,

I have always known there was something off about the way most of you were raised, I use "you" because I think that my parents did their own individual bit to raise me above the norm.
Infidelity is a no, no, no in marriage it can be forgiven if it happens once but shouldn't be taken as a norm or the right of the Nigerian men to cheat with impunity. The Nigerian woman should not also be made to carry this cross in marriage without questioning or demanding better. 
The Nigerian woman is raised to be quiet and endure while I was raised to speak up, ask questions, and demand answers. This, of course, didn't sit exactly well with my disciplinarian mum and earned me lots of beatings as she never could understand why I should question her punishing me when it was my younger brothers who were at fault, or why I should demand answers for being asked to do a particular thing but Dad always encouraged me to speak up, defend myself and ask away so ask I did even in the midst of severe beatings from mum I would still be educating her on how wrong she was😂😂😂. Dear Mama. Ok back to my point.
I have stumbled on two incidents recently that prompted this epistle- so an actress accused her hubby of cheating and walked out of the marriage, then another advised women to stop leaving cheating partners but rather buy them CDs. Dear Nigerian Women when will you grab some self-esteem?
Am far from being a Big Brother fan but I have tried to follow the recent one because of a particular character called TTT.  This man was flirting or would I say flexing with a fellow housemate who is completely oblivious to the fact that he is a married man and he had the guts to defend his actions oh did I say he had the guts? My bad his wife actually supports him canvassing for to keep him in because it's all about the game...I do not judge her but I worry about how she is raising her girl child and her boy child as concerns marriage. Dear Nigerian Women common sense shouldn't be far from us and it's okay really to demand respect for yourself and your marriage.
The slogan 'all men cheat' is a lie that has been sold to us generations before but my dear, all men DO NOT cheat and you don't have to be stuck with a serial cheat and constant infidelity. If you are faithful to your marital vows it shouldn't be so difficult for the man to do same. I am not raising my girl child to believe any of that crap and I would advise you don't.
Finally, the choice is yours really to rise above the cliché society has put in place long before you were born or to demand a sane marriage/home as God intended it to be. I made my choice, I wish you well and encourage you to choose rightly.
Lots of love,
PD.

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