The Nigerian Girl Child and Her Societal Restrictions

Post by Shakirat O. Raji

By now, it is no news that women are viewed differently in this part of the world. Our society places more emphasis on the male child than the female child. Sadly, the trend is of increase as I write. While growing up, my instinct as small as I was then could decipher the treatment meted on the female child. While the situation is a bit different in my household, the environment I found myself seemingly encouraged boys to be egocentric. In my primary school days, I lost count of being bullied by boys in my class. I always thought it was because of my short stature which I hated myself for being not tall. I was constantly timid, shy and of course not confident. I was not the engaging student anymore. I withdrew to myself completely and became a lone ranger.

Fast-forward to Secondary school, I still exhibited those characteristics in my junior secondary days. Of course, the home front was not as cruel as the outside world but I still didn’t have the guts to talk about my fears and worries to family members. I silently prayed to become a bit taller and perhaps more self-confident.

On my own, I started finding my own voice. In the home discussion, I began participating regardless of whether I made sense or not. I was gradually becoming more vocal and confident. By the time I was almost done with my secondary school, I had evolved positively. Unfortunately, it was my home who gave me the voice I needed. Interacting with the environment, it was so evident that I was being silenced. In fact, my opinion was never given a second thought. I questioned this attitude of the society but all I hear was that’s the way it is. I hear often, you are a woman, you need to have some certain traits and not possess some traits too. All these didn’t make sense to me as I saw it as a form of slavery. I eventually left the shores of Nigeria to pursue my post graduate studies precisely Leicester, England, United Kingdom. It was here I understood the difference in the two societies. Where in the UK, it is appreciated to be vocal, Nigeria on the other hand, sees it as being rude or disrespectful. It was difficult at first to find a balance between these two societies.

I came back to Nigeria to start work. That was when reality dawned on me seriously. The first interview I went for to become a network administrator, I was silenced by the panel saying that I was too young and perhaps I am a woman. It didn’t mean to them that I was competent, all they said was it was a male job and that there were too many pressures attached.

Getting to academics, I would say indeed was a path God almighty himself had destined a long time ago before my existence. I remembered I faced so many oppositions from the department, from male counterparts believing I was too confident, and even the women in the department not liking my guts.  I had challenges which were not palatable but then all made me who I am today.

This story aims to make the subject a robust one that is seen from a personal experience and is also the reality of a larger society. Where I come from, the Yoruba part of the country, it is often discouraged that a lady/woman must be too ambitious or must be a force to reckon with. This has always been a nightmare for me. A girl/lady/woman must fight her way up in the society. She would have to break barriers which no one might even be interested in helping in the process. This is sadly still ongoing. The society isn’t just kind on the women folk. But what has helped me is the fact that I have a father who believed in empowering a girl child and would go any length to do just that.

So, I have a support system. How fortunate I am. Thanks to Almighty God. But the question is do we need to have that kind of support system before a girl can succeed/excel? While the home front is the fundamental place to help in instilling positive traits, the society should also be involved to propagate/promote women folk. This has nothing to do with feminism or gender equality. It is what it is, women should be accorded the respect being accorded men.

Shakirat.O. Raji is a Nigerian researcher in the field of Information and Communication Technology.

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