Women and Work Ethics

Thank you to Ephey Malo for permitting me to share this post. I might not agree with the entirety of her post, but I certainly must say that it is a good read and has a lot of substance.

This is for women only. It can be universally applicable but I will limit this to women only. Especially young women in Nigeria.

I define work as anything which gives you satisfaction. It could be paid or unpaid. I define productive work as one that generates you some income or buys you some sort of agency or currency to negotiate future productivity.

I sent an email to Olubunmi a few days ago about some of the women she sends my way who claim to need jobs. As in they say they need something that is income generating. The long and short of it was me telling her that I am not doing again.

What broke the camel's back? Well there was an opportunity for one of the many women who have been knocking on her door whom she regularly sends my way. This person needed the money. And looking at her CV she seemed to be somewhat of a fit. Except of course she left a poor impression. She never quite made it for the interview and this is after we had rescheduled three times to accommodate her schedule over a period of 2weeks. Yes! You heard me right. An unemployed person in a recession economy whom Aunty Bunmi had put her reputation and credibility for did not make it to her interview because ... well to be frank, I honestly can't say why she did not make it except her ego and that her attitude to work showed itself on time before we made the mistake of hiring her.

There are several like her. This is why I barely take people (women especially) who enter social media inbox to say they need job seriously. It has not been a good experience. 

It is usually a case of "see finish..." "...Ehen are we not FB friends..." "Is she not a woman like me..." Etc... No boundaries... No respect... Poor attitude to work, very unprofessional attitude and even worse unnecessary egos and emotions and an over bloated sense of entitlement too.

See I am a very different person at work. I am ruthless when it come to work. I am not a nice person with my work. I leave niceness for after work periods. I learnt from women masters of this game, that if you want to succeed you must work thrice as hard as everyone else and ten times as hard as the men folks, sometimes with the latter human specie having less experience or qualifications. So when it comes to my work, I guard it too jealously... Because I understand what it takes to get where I am going and how much sacrifice I have made to make it this far. 

See; save for twice in my life, I have only had female bosses. Female bazookas I call them. Women who are not only thriving but dominating their fields. Usually in a male dominated environment. One of my former bosses was 59years old when I became her staff about 5yrs ago. Her day usually started by 4.30am/5am and ended by 1am... And as a close staff member then, I struggled to keep up at first because my day started and ended with hers. She was also a wife, mother, daughter, grandmother amongst many other things she was doing with her professional life. I learnt so much from her and what I usually said to myself when things got tough with her is: if she is doing this at 59yrs, what's my excuse? I searched and searched and found none. So I learnt not to sleep. I learnt to burn mid-night oils to ensure that my work stood out and stood tall. And it has helped me even today. I also learnt one other important lesson from her. That to be successful as a woman in the work place, I must learn to be unemotional about my work and at work. Which is why I get Hillary Clinton. Emotions for women are often inexcusable in the work place. I keep my emotions and feelings in check. Since we women don't write the rules of work place engagements yet, we have to play by it until we do.

Which is why I am all for giving women opportunities when I can because I understand the odds stacked against us. I understand how brutal and difficult the workplace can be for women. So I am often biased in favor of hiring women when I can because the only way we change these rules is when enough of us are in the work force making these workplace rules for ourselves... 

Yet younger women of the Gen X and Gen Y seem to just take these opportunities for granted. And insult you on top of it. 😂😂😂😂 I have found this to be worse amongst my younger Nigerian female contacts. How do you not understand these opportunities given to you which our mothers never had; which women of another generation fought and died for us to have? How?

Like someone said, hard things are hard; but we must do them. I hate getting up in the mornings... I am not a morning person. Yet I know the mountains several others climbed for me to get to sit at tables where I sit now. I understand sacrifices that were made for me to be here. I understand the need to put food on the table for my family; to put to use my education, itself another great opportunity; for the benefit of mankind. To solve problems and find fulfillment as a professional. To set an example for my daughters and nieces whom I realize are watching me daily and getting a sense of work and diligence. And so while my body says no, sleep one more hour; my head says get to work.

This is why I am very pained when income generating opportunities; professional or life changing opportunities are frittered away by younger women like they don't matter. 

How on earth do you say to me that you are finding it hard to feed yourself and your family in this recession; then I get you a job, after rewriting your resume, cover letter, coaching you through the interview process and calling the international organization hiring to put in a personal word for you and you don't show up for the new entrant training because you lost an in-law or a distant relative? How? Okay after the funeral which may yet be weeks away, how do you feed? Yes, this happened with another person recently. Another woman.

See hard things are hard and we must change our work orientation culture here. I lost my father in 2006 while an adjunct faculty member at a University in the USA. The news was broken to me 3hours before I was to go in and teach a class. I could not reach my faculty head in time to find a replacement teacher nor could I reach fellow faculty members to stand in for me. I went in that day and taught my classes, as I did everyday for 3weeks before daddy's funeral. The system in developed countries forces you to work for your pay or remain poor and on welfare. I choose to work.

It is why I admire my next door neighbor Jumoke who tragically lost her husband 2+ years ago after a protracted illness. She works for an international company whose policy was to give 3days family bereavement leave. That's how most international organizations and companies work. Limited time for Iranu. You get just a few days outside of work to handle your business, including close personal bereavement. So she travelled with her kids on a Thursday, buried her husband on a Friday and Saturday, did the outing reception on Sunday, and returned on a Monday and was back at work on a Tuesday. She did this with two little kids aged 2yrs and 4yrs at the time and a 5month pregnancy.

She said to me she needed more time after her baby was born so could not take more time from her annual leave to add to the funeral period. The other option was to quit the job and stay home and grieve her beloved husband. But again she says the benefits of working with great pay to train and provide for the three kids outweighed the need to stay stuck grieving for a husband that was her childhood love. It was not easy for her. It is still is not easy. I have seen her cry often and be vulnerable. Yet I see her get up and leave home daily by 6.50am and return by 8pm every work day. 

So what's your excuse?

main photo credit: reformedchristianhomeschooling.com